02.11.09
God in the Strangest Places
I have been going through a very difficult time in my life. The difficulties came to a head last Thursday in an event that took me to a place I never dreamed I would ever go. Yet despite the traumatic event in a rather hard episode in my life, I found God’s hand everywhere I went.
To put it bluntly, I was diagnosed with suffering from Major Depression and ended up in a mental health facility where I was literally locked down for almost a week. Despite the sadness, anger and frustration I was feeling, I was comforted by the strangest of people and found myself talking about God with people I never in my life would have dreamed I ever would. The experience really brought Matthew 25: 34-46 to life.
“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’
Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
“The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’
“Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’
“They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’
“He will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’
“Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”
My first thought was that I was locked up with a bunch of crazy people. After all, i was quite normal. I found myself surrounded with people struggling with voices in their heads, those that claimed they had demons in them, bi-polar disorders, addictions, anger management issues, and a myriad of emotional problems. I felt like the sober person at a party full of drunks. But I found I was struggling with many of the same things that they were. A wonderful counselor told us that all of these problems that many of us were dealing with centered around how self centered we really were. We didn’t want to do what needed to be done so we lashed out in our own selfish ways.
Yet many in there were so selfless in so many ways. I was conforted by a lady singing gospel songs who was brought in due to hearing voices and walking down the middle of the freeway. When I was at my lowest, I was conforted by a lady who had nearly overdosed because she felt overwhelmed by the problems of her son, and another who had come in feeling like she was worthless and without hope. I found that all these people were people who wanted and needed love just like you or I. God allowed me to help a young man with anger issues to accept Jesus for the first time in his life and he and I prayed together during most of my stay.
Towards the end, my conversations turned to a man named Mark, who had called in a bomb threat and kept telling me his life was over, I realized that all these people were human and worthy of God’s love. Mark kept saying his life was over and there was nothing left. He was truly hopeless. I shared with him the plight of Jonah in Jonah 2 and he could relate. Yet somehow I knew I needed to tell him that he was a person of worth in my eyes. That he was a person who was loved. He was upset when I left and he came up to me and asked a question that will stick with me for the rest of my life.
“Will you remember me? Will you pray for me like you said you would?”
I told him I would and I would ask anyone reading this blog to also pray for Mark who is in a very dark place. I thank God that I had my issue if only to be that small beacon of light that reached Mark.
So how many of us ask God, “Will you remember me?” “Am I worthy to be remembered?” We ask if our God will come and save us and i believe he does, just not always in the way we expect. I just think it is awesome that in the hardest times, God is there walking with us.
Bob East said,
February 12, 2009 at 7:33 pm
Hey Brett, thanks for sharing from your soul. God is indeed in the strangest places…if we can all just continue to working on reducing self interests and increasing His interests and love for us and those He places in our path. See you soon dear friend.
Joel Knox said,
February 13, 2009 at 7:58 am
Dude, I had no idea what has been going on in your life. You’re definitely in my thoughts and will be in my prayers, bud.
-j
Patrick O said,
February 15, 2009 at 10:05 am
I’ve gone up and down in depression for most of my life, sometimes hitting very severe points.
Looking back now I see much the same as you do, though your experience seems to be more concentrated.
Jesus came for those living in darkness. Yet, the church doesn’t know how to really reach into the darkness, touching those who are on the outside. That’s not an accusation from me. How do we touch those who are unseen, invisible, darkened?
I think that’s part of God’s work with us. He has those he calls as public figures who reach the regular folk. Then he has others… his special forces of sorts, who he works in and among, allowing more than seemingly can be handled, to be prisoners among the prisoners, outsiders among the outsiders, to be messengers of light in the darkest of places.
My experiences have changed everything in my theology and ministry and interactions with people. I felt so lost, but like you said, God is walking there with us.
I pray you’re feeling the hope and light in a fuller way this day, my friend.
Administrator said,
February 15, 2009 at 2:36 pm
I want to thank all of you for your comments. I am back on the outside looking back in on this. Somehow when I was going through this, no matter how hopeless I got, how angry I got, how sad I got, God was there working in powerful and mysterious ways. Mark, the fellow I mentioned, was raging up and down the hallway. The staff couldn’t control him and he was bound for the cement walled lock down cell. I am not certain why I tried with him but something told me to speak to him. God allowed my words to calm him down and find the person who was inside of him. I was the only person that could get him back in his room and calm him down enough to quit raging.
Patrick, I think that I was the only light Mark could see at the bottom of his pit. His request to me will both haunt me as a reminder of where many people are and serve me as a guide for how we as Christian need to reach out in our faith to those in need. Especially in the light of reaching into those places where it is not comfortable to reach into or experience.
God has lifted the cloud that was blinding me that lead me to this place so I am feeling the hope and light in a fuller way this day once again. But that is a topic for a good blog post.
carolyn said,
February 20, 2009 at 2:59 pm
1 Peter 4:19
“Therefore let those who suffer accordinging to the will of God committ their souls to Him in doing good, as to a faithful Creator.”
1Peter 5:8-10
“Be sober, be vigilant: because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood, in the world. But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you..”
These are some verses that were given to me when I suffered a time of mild depression. They made me think about things differently. Hope they could help what it seems like you are going through.